Maddie Zahm Interview

Maddie Zahm has captured the hearts of thousands of people through her virality online with heartfelt worship songs such as “Fat Funny Friend” and “If It’s Not God”. Both songs now find their home on Zahm’s latest release of her You Might Not Like Her EP, a passionate five track story of Maddie’s struggles through body issues, religious trauma, and sexuality crises. Tongue Tied received the opportunity to sit down with Maddie prior to the release of You Might Not Like Her to discuss her music and the harrowing experience of being virally vulnerable online.

Maddie Zahm started playing music at a young age through leading worship at her church and assisting in teaching guitar within special education classrooms in high school. Following her passions for teaching, Maddie left for college to study special education before one day deciding to audition for American Idol.

“I made it to the top 50. It was very much a joke between me and my friends that I honestly kind of swindled my way onto the show because I had no idea what I was doing and forgot my lyrics every round. I think I was like the kid on the swim team that was mostly just there for a good hang or just the person that works at your company that's like the morale booster. That was who I was on American Idol, I was there because I just made friends with everybody. I remember that was when I was introduced to Catie Turner and Maddie Poppe and a couple of people on that season that wrote music, and I just thought that songwriting was really cool. I tried it myself like two and a half years ago. It started out with breakup songs and then slowly kind of became a project about me deconstructing who I was on American Idol versus where I am now. My music is very much just a journey of me finding myself and who I actually am. It's been an honor to see how many people have resonated with it.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

Prior to our conversation, Maddie had released “Fat Funny Friend” and “You Might Not Like Her”, yet listeners were still excitedly awaiting what else was to come from the full You Might Not Like Her EP. For Maddie, the anticipation of release held a variety of emotions and fears.

“The reality is that these songs are really personal, and I think I'm starting to realize how much of who I am as a person is poured into those songs. I've never really asked anyone for their opinion over the past couple of years of who I'm becoming, but this feels like asking people to give their opinions on the changes that I've made that I'm so happy with personally. It's a little daunting, but at the same time, the community of people that have been around for these monumental changes and have been able to heal with and relate to the songs, they make it very worth it. No matter what though, there definitely is fear that comes from writing music that is heavy.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

I had the lucky opportunity to listen to You Might Not Like Her prior to our conversation, so I felt a deep understanding and connection with the fears Maddie held. The five tracks are vulnerable and raw in their honesty of her rapid life changes, and Maddie did not hold back in discussing how these songs came to light.

“Creating these songs was one of the most cathartic experiences of my entire life. I think everything that we did with these songs all have purposes, if that makes sense. I made it very clear early on after writing these songs that I was either going to do it exactly right or not at all, mainly because I wasn't really sure that I wanted to be an artist when I was writing these songs in private. I was going through such huge shifts in my life as I wrote these.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

The rapid shifts discussed through You Might Not Like Her include Maddie’s exploration of her sexuality, her weight loss and struggles with body image, and her separation from the church. As Maddie battles through each issue and her new version of self, she holds a reverent tone throughout her EP with cascading vocals and worship anthems of hope.

“I was suddenly deconstructing who I was and becoming the version of who I am now. I've lost a ton of weight, entered a relationship with one of my best friends who was a girl, and begun deconstructing my faith and realizing the harm that the church had caused me. It's me asking these questions as a 23 year old who is questioning what happens when you were raised to be a really good kid and then you're told to be an adult. Like…what are we supposed to do? Due to that, I wanted this EP to have these church influences and visuals that kind of walk younger me through all of these changes. Because of that, I wanted to go into this project almost treating it as though it was spiritual because it really felt like that. I was raised on church music, and I really wanted to honor that upbringing and give people who have been harmed by the church a chance to listen to the music that honestly, regardless of the message, had some type of emotional impact on us.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

For Maddie, this processing has helped through her evolution as a human being. Finding herself in so many new challenges and experiences has led to a lot of emotional processing for the singer, evident in the impassioned ballads and belts of You Might Not Like Her, but Zahm is also cognizant of the fact that the revelations of the EP is not the end of her growth. 

“The whole EP really is this journey of me finding myself but also not really finding myself. There's not a true conclusion to it, and the beauty of being an artist is that I don't really have to have a conclusion about any of it. I'm a human. There's so much room for me to grow from this project. When you listen to it, I hope that people can hear that it's like a 23 year old struggling with these things and it's not like a soapbox against the church. It's just it's a 23 year old that's figuring it out.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

As a fellow fat and queer former church kid, I drew the same impressions from listening to You Might Not Like Her and found comfort within the lack of conclusion. The set up of worship songs discussing such common trauma is euphorically painful in a way entirely unique to Maddie’s distinct lyricism and styling. Looking to the future, however, Maddie plans on exploring further sounds outside of worship music. 

“The EP needed to be this worship and it needed to encompass the specific emotional journey that I had been on. I honestly think it's funny because a lot of this music releases emotions that I think I've kind of worked through a little bit by now. I’m not in the same place I was when I was writing You Might Not Like Her. I feel like I've come to a really good peace in who I'm becoming. All of this EP was written when I wasn't out and when I was going through dramatic weight loss and such. That sound encompassed the chaos and the emotion of that time, but that didn’t last forever. The music that comes next is going to shock people a little and hopefully in a good way. You Might Not Like Her is so special for all the rapid changes I was going through and the person I’ve become, but I don’t think I’ll have another project like this one.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

TikTok has been a major place for the community of fans Maddie Zahm has created with thousands of people creating videos of self love for the person they’ve become to “You Might Not Like Her” and sharing their weight-related trauma to “Fat Funny Friend”. When asked about her reaction to the viral response of her music, Maddie can’t help but feel the deep connection her music has created.

“It’s overwhelming, but I'm incredibly thankful. Part of the experience for me is just coming to terms with the fact that I'm connecting with people on a level that isn't just like, “Oh, I love your songs.” It's more of a mutual understanding of shared experience. I don't take that lightly.  I feel so honored to watch people process through their journey using something that helped me process through mine. With every song I think, “Oh, this is too personal and unique to my situation,” and every time I'm just blown away by how many people are relating to these experiences that felt so isolating at the time. I hope that somebody who was where I was at six months ago hopefully can hear that and be able to process through it all a bit easier. I think if I saw 20,000 videos of people relating to “Fat Funny Friend” while I was getting bullied for being plus sized or if I saw people finding peace within themselves to a song like “You Might Not Like Her,” I wonder if my journey would have gone by a little quicker and been a little less painful. So I feel honored, and I feel overwhelmed, and I just don't want to let this community down.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

Most people come to the revelations Maddie explores within You Might Not Like Her over years of time, yet the singer spent only 8 months on a rapid fast track of growth and change throughout the curation of this EP. This pace of self-exploration and open vulnerability isn’t new for Zahm, however, who has a variety of stories similar throughout different periods of her life.

“It’s so funny and also just my personality. On American Idol, I went on and I was like the poster child for PCOS. I had literally been diagnosed for three weeks and instead of getting on medication, I said, “let's talk about it on national television.” It's the same way this EP happened to where it's like I literally was like, “Oh, I kissed a girl. I'm like writing a song about it.” I apparently never give my experiences a nice 5-7 business day waiting period, I just drive right in to being the voice for that experience that I am very new at. I keep reminding everyone that I have only dated one girl and that I am in fact not the poster child for knowing how to be queer because I am a baby gay.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

While Zahm has since announced and sold out three intimate shows in NYC, LA, and London, Maddie spoke with me about how hard performing these songs will be and the specifications needed for a You Might Not Like Her show. 

“It has to be really safe spaces, especially in the beginning while I'm processing through and learning to sing these live. Every time I sing them, it's emotional and it's talking about my deepest secrets. If I’m performing these, then I want it to be an experience, so it’s just making sure that we’re in spaces where the songs are honored and it's not triggering. A full tour will be easier with some of my later down the road music, but this stuff is so heavy that it just has to be really safe spaces.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

Maddie’s career thus far has shown a variety of experiences, and for artists looking to enter the industry, her biggest piece of advice is to create the music you believe in. People certainly flock to the authenticity of Maddie’s poignant lyricism and prose through song, so I would certainly heed her thoughts. 

“We're in such an interesting phase of music where it's hard sometimes to think that what we're working on has substance outside of views and likes. Your art matters and you matter past the fast moving machine of streams and views, and the more that you believe in it, the more other people are going to believe in it. If people don't listen, oh well. Keep going. At least you created art that you believe in. For me looking back at this project, even if none of the viral stuff had happened, I would go through writing it again to be able to become the person that I am now, and that is how I know that I'm proud of my work. It has less to do with other people and more to do with my relationship with it. The more that I stopped caring about who was listening and just wrote for me, the more people listened.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

When I asked Maddie if she had anything else to share, I received one of the greatest fun facts I’ve ever heard. I’ll give no more lead in because Maddie’s wording was simply perfection.

“The funny story that I still think encompasses this entire fucking experience for me would be me leaving a label meeting and aggressively trying to explain to them how I was going to articulate and personify all my deepest, darkest traumas over the past couple of months. I remember I was leaving and I was just absolutely crying. I had just been to three different label meetings back to back and I'm trying to use my intuition to know who to go with and what to do. So I left and I was walking with my backpack on and tears streaming down my eyes. My manager looked at me and he goes, “What's in your backpack?” and I said, “Shark figurines, and I don't want to talk about it.” and then I just walked home. Just like the juxtaposition of who I am to have a backpack filled with aquarium shit while I am also sobbing about my traumas. That’s a great representation of me, honestly. I know that it seems like this project is really heavy, and it is, but I am also very goofy. I am excited going forward to release these songs and heal from them and then also get to show the other side of me soon.” - Maddie Zahm, for Tongue Tied Magazine

Consistent throughout our conversation was Maddie’s pure vulnerability in not only her music but also her expression of self to the world. You Might Not Like Her is officially out on all platforms, so make sure you cry along with us here at Tongue Tied on Spotify. Be sure to also follow Maddie Zahm on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter so you stay up to date on everything coming from one of the definitive voices of a generation.